Even the bartender felt bad for me
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize