Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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