there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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