i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
someone owes me an orgasm
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
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