Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
