Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize