There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
