dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
