never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
