just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize