I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...