I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
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He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
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Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!