.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
