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• (317): View more from Indiana

  it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely

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• (253): View more from Washington

  dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  She said she didn't have time to shave "there"

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  In America we eat man semen.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that

  Fav 10 1231 917

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better

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• (718): View more from New York

  Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.

  Fav 2 421 284

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  I am never drinking with the goths again.

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