my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.