Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.