I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
it's like iHOP with fire
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.