I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
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