So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
