So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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