in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize