How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
tell me about the eggs
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
