i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize