We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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