I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
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And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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