READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I think I sprained my soul last night
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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