Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Randomize
