I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
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Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
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Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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