remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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