OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
