And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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