Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the knife in your bed.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize