Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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