1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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