you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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