i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you win again, gameday.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
