brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Need sex. Gaining weight.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
