I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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