I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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