I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Your cock deserves a montage
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize