i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
