turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
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I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
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Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Help. Why am I so naked?
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