this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
