you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
