The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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