mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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