Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
