girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
