I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize