Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
