my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
