I need help removing her.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
time to smoke my breakfast
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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