Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
