As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
