Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
