I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
