Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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