you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
