Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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