Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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