I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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