Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
