she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
