I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
