already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
