i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
we're so committed to being not committed
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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